Monday, December 6

Opening Night

            Wow.

            There was not a bad show in the bunch.  All the technical elements were near flawless, and I sincerely enjoyed watching everyone’s shows so much – I’m so proud of everyone!  Suburbia and Noises Off were hilarious, and This Is Our Youth found this amazingly poignant humor in its insanity.  Caesar was breathtaking and beautiful, and Our Lady of 121^st Street was so subtle and wonderful to watch. 

            I was so happy with the way my play turned out.  Emily never quits improving – even now, she’s still trying one or two little new things to throw Mike off, and I really like their chemistry onstage.  At the same time, I definitely did not choose an exciting show, and it definitely felt like the most underwhelming of all the shows.  But I’m so happy for everyone, and I’m really proud of myself and my actors and, yes, even Ashley for all that we’ve learned in the past four weeks. 

            I can’t believe it’s been that long. 

            Little things I noticed: Emily turns her back to the audience a lot, which works somewhat but also is a little jarring and mostly my fault for not calling her on it sooner – I moved around way too much and never got one clear view of how she looks onstage.  I’m glad Mike toned down the desperation – Emily reacted really well to it, and he seemed to feel more comfortable with it.  Mike’s diction problem was almost non-existent tonight and Emily was easily heard.  Funny what a performance setting does to people.   

            Things have been put into perspective rather jarringly the past few days.

            I’m content.  I’m happy.  I’m excited for tomorrow.

            Congratulations to everyone.

Sunday, December 5

Final tech/dress rehearsal

PART A

        I'm not quite sure what to say at this moment. 
        Part of me wants to watch what I say, bite my tongue and hope that nothing needs to be said.  Brevity is the soul of wit, as I was recently told.  And while this is an online journal, one where we're supposed to talk about our feelings throughout the entire production process, it's also a graded one.  Nonetheless, part of me wants to vent my frustrations on here in the pessimistic thought that I probably will not and should not in a classroom or rehearsal setting.  It's my uncompromising feelings on the Artificial Stricture of Teacher and Student, yes, but also it's an avoidance issue, really.  I hate pissing people off.  It scares me because, in the end, I am also in the wrong in this situation.  Being called out on that sucks.  And still, part of me wants to wait until class tomorrow in the hopes that something will be discussed calmly and coolly and honestly, that criticisms can be dealt with on all sides and that maybe we can learn something from what happened tonight.  All of us.
        "Nothing to be done," I suppose.  A lot can happen in eighteen hours, after all.
       But wow.  That was bad.  Sorry, Jay.  Those are my thoughts.

PART B

        First of all, the good things about tonight.  My scene went relatively well as far as set changes and music went.  Mike and Emily are confident, and despite Ashley's jittery behavior on the headaset I think she's doing a fine job for a first-time stage manager.  And for a first tech run, that was about as good or bad as I expected despite my unyielding optimism.
        However, it should have been done a week ago.  So many of the actors just stood around waiting for a run that never happened.  I feel so bad for the casts of Caesar and Suburbia, and they have every right to be pissed.  Maybe the fault is with all of us.  We knew Jay was going to Chicago; we should have said something earlier.  But he's also the professor and the professional and should have known what to do.  A lot of us have been in shows, and some have even directed before or, even still, produced.  Others haven't.  But, regardless, it is not our place to tell Jay when he's doing something right or wrong - it's an authority issue, an attitude issue, and just plain stupid.  He should have given us another week if he needed to train stage managers and go to Chicago and do this and that.  Even another day of tech rehearsals.  This should have been on paper at least three days ago, and even in the worst techs I've taken part in or been in charge of, we were not cueing the show less than 24 hours in advance.  We were fixing and trimming things, yes, but not this.
        Is it our fault too as directors?  Probably.  The issue, as usual in problems with theater, is communication.  And I'm confident in my show and we're as ready as we'll ever be, I suppose.  And Jay's still, as Bryce said, the prettiest person in the room.  But, for future reference, that was an unabashedly unorganized fiasco that very few people left happily, myself included.

TECH rehearsal

            Music: check.  Third Eye Blind (“Good Man”) and Guster (“Two Points for Honesty”).  What a combo.

            Props: check.  Just a few tests and a report to bring in.

            Costumes: check.  They look perfect.

            Set: check.  Minimal and fitting.

            Here we go. 

            The tech rehearsal went far more smoothly than I thought it would.  The cues were simple and direct, and we took care of things quickly and efficiently.  Ashley seemed to do a fine job up in the booth with Jay, and Mike and Emily were very cooperative.  And, more than ever, I was really happy I had done techs for other shows before and that Oleanna on the whole is very minimal – it made the whole process so much less stress-inducing.

            I don’t really know what else to say at this point.  My notes today after the run-through of the show were minimal and mostly directed at projection issues and little tech-related things for the actors.  The show isn’t going to change much from now until the performance on Monday – the next time we rehearse is at the full tech on Sunday night.  I wanted to give my cast a break they haven’t had all week, time to sleep in and time to contemplate other things besides the show.  They know it as well as they ever will.  I’m so excited, both for the performance itself and for the performances to be over; it’s the usual theater mix of relief and sadness, of excitement and dread. 

            Time to get over being sick. 

Thursday, December 2

Final rehearsal before tech

            Oh.  So that’s what hell week is like. 

            I remember now. 

            It was a much, much better rehearsal today.  I sent everyone an email last night, partly an apology upon realizing that my enthusiasm had been lacking as much as everyone else’s and partly a call to arms, telling them how confident I was in all of them and what to expect the next few days…and to enjoy those last few days.

            Today, I saw the difference.  Emily must have really taken a good look at the script and done some homework last night, because the Carol that came into rehearsal today was markedly different from any previous iteration.  Subtle facial twitches, more free and direct motions, and a far more divided character stood out today – I told Mike and Emily after rehearsal that, for the first time, I could truly see their relationship to one another and how much their actions were hurting each other.  Not the situation; their own actions.  Emily made suggestions on her own and even asked Mike about a few things he was doing to see how she could better react to him.  She barely needed direction, merely consent to try a few things.  It was wonderful, and even if the choices weren’t exactly what I had in mind from the get-go, it was so much more effective because it was organic.  It was real.

            The other big step, for me, was finally hammering down on Mike about the diction problem.  During the start-stop run, I stopped him every single time I noticed his speech pattern creeping up and we would go back a full page until he got it right.  He got somewhat better, but I think a couple more days will do him well.  And during the straight run, I would call “Diction” whenever there was a problem and “Project” whenever I couldn’t hear.  I needed to slow both of them down a bit and there were times when I couldn’t hear them, but they’re still adjusting to the space so I expect that somewhat.  And their reactions feel so much more honest and driven by desire and action rather than by subtle ideas.  I can see it; so could they. 

            Ashley told me that two weeks ago, when she first came to rehearsals, she was bored to tears with the show and how now the improvement is so tremendous and the show so much more dynamic.  If nothing else, that’s something to be proud of.  I feel like I’ve taught them something; that they’ve learned as much as I’ve learned in some capacity.  In the end, even if the show isn’t perfect, that’s my measure of success.  And I’m happy with that.

            Tomorrow is tech.  I’m choosing music tonight and bringing it tomorrow – I’m torn between a song with lyrics and an instrumental piece.  The props are finished, the costumes fine-tuned, the set ready, and all that’s left is a sound cue and four simple light cues.  I hope that goes well enough.

Tech week rehearsal full run

            I’m sick and I’m tired.  Not of anything in particular; I just am and it’s hindering my ability to stay focused. 

            Today felt almost like a step backwards.  Maybe I was too hyped up about the past two rehearsals to be anything but disappointed, but both Mike and Emily felt like they had decided to retreat into their comfort areas.  The first thing Emily said to me at rehearsal was, “Can you be more direct with me about blocking?” (read: tell me what to do) after we had the same discussion almost two weeks ago.  I told her, quite concisely, NO.  I want her to make choices on her own and commit to them, and I’ll give her suggestions and ask questions and pry out other choices from her if I don’t like the one she tries out, but I want the performance to be organic, not robotic.

            We did a stop and start of the entire show, and I emphasized reaction and goals in everything, stopping them when I was glaringly unsure.  We made some progress, but no one’s energy seemed to be in the right places.  It was all very misdirected.  That went for me too.  I don’t know what it was – maybe we were just in bad moods, maybe the space was a little intimidating with everything almost in place, maybe Mike and Emily…maybe I’m, maybe we’re all unsure of what John and Carol want.  I don’t think that’s the case; we talked about it after rehearsal for a long time afterwards.  They all have good ideas; they’re just afraid to run with them and afraid to commit to anything that puts them at risk.  Maybe I am too.

            I worry that I don’t have the training to get Mike out of his speech patterns.  I worry that I don’t have the training to break Emily of her rigidity and lack of confidence in her abilities.  I know I’ll learn, and my measure of success with Oleanna is how much I learn and how much my actors learn and how much we all grow in confidence and understanding of what this all takes.  And the show is going to be great, I know.  I can’t emphasize my faith in my cast and in Ashley enough.  It just doesn’t feel like enough time and I don’t feel confident enough in my own abilities. 

            And I’m sick and I’m tired.  Blah.